My biggest vice is that I let my emotions dictate my life. I’m an emotional eater, an emotional driver, an emotional decision-maker, and likewise, my productivity heavily depends on my current emotional state. That probably explains why I work best under pressure because nothing terrifies a procrastinating perfectionist like a deadline. Working under such extreme circumstances, however, isn’t as beneficial as you may think. Sure, you attain the results you were hoping for, but at the cost of straining yourself, and over time you start to associate productivity with stress and pressure. Once you reach this level of thinking, it gets harder to go back. It’s true for me at least. Which is why I’m trying to change my relationship with the tasks at hand. Instead of leaving it up to my mood or being bound to a time restraint to fulfill a certain task, I’m battling the indolent part of myself to be more productive. It’s an ongoing battle that doesn’t always end up with my rational side winning, and this week was a testament to that.
I’ve managed to follow about 60% of the schedule I set for myself this week, which sounds like a bad number but compared to before, my productivity has actually gone up! I don’t have a secret recipe for this change, but what I can tell you is that it’s a painstakingly slow process that demands persistence and patience, but most of all, a good environment that will help you grow.
Also, it’s important to note that productivity is subjective. Sometimes menial tasks that don’t take a single thought to do for someone can be a big challenge for another. For example, I’m an anxious driver. It took me two years to muster the courage to get a driver’s license and months to practice my spatial awareness to get rid of the nerves, but guess what? The nerves never go, and the anxiety doesn’t disappear, but I still drive, and today I drove my brother to the train station in this rainy weather and felt super productive and motivated afterward.
Don’t ridicule the small challenges in your life that feel insignificant, because those are the moments that matter. They’re the jumping stone of your growth so be proud of what you achieved for the day, no matter how small it is. Be proud.
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The winter drifter 
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